SHOULD A FURNITURE FETISHIST BE A HEARTBEAT AWAY FROM THE PRESIDENCY?

The mystery thickens! Did JD Vance have sex with a couch? When the story, broke, AP reported it, then retracted it, then retracted the retraction! America needs to know if a potential VP is a furniture fetishist!

Sen. JD Vance (R-OH), GOP nominee for VP: misogynist, isolationist, biography-fabricator, Ivy Leaguer, Silicon Valley investment banker, and potentially a man who once humped a couch. (Image courtesy of Vanity Fair.)

For us Dems, JD Vance is the gift that keeps on giving. One minute he defames women who opt not to have children, the next minute he talks about how much he loved the days before women had equal rights, when Blacks could not vote, and LBGTQ+ people were criminalized. He’s been shown to have betrayed a trans friend, flip-flopped from comparing Trump to Hitler, to embracing him as a modern-day Savior. (No one has told him that before the Supreme Court decided Loving v. Virginia in 1967, many American states would have legally barred him and his Indian-American wife from marrying, and that his ideological soulmate, Clarence Thomas, would like to return to those days.) Vance also wants to make it very difficult to get divorced, and he insists that battered and abused women stay with the abusive husbands.

Vance began his political life as a “Never-Trumper,” going so far as to term the disgraced former President an “American Hitler.” Since his conversion to MAGA, Vance literally advances Trump as the Second Coming.